Apart
by alwayslovingyou
Summary: What do you mean 'it doesn't matter? Of course it matters, Peyton. Why is that you can marry someone else but you couldn't marry me, huh? Did I... Did our love mean so little to you?" LP/ONESHOT


**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or the song Apart by The Cure (if you don't know this song, please listen to it, over youtube or something).**

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_apart by alwayslovingyou

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_How did we get this far apart?  
We used to be so close together  
How did we get this far apart?  
I thought this love would last forever_

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_"Peyton, where are you? Please, answer the phone Peyton... Tell me where you are... Why didn't you come? I love you Peyton, why, why didn't you come... Look, I'm going to the hotel now, if you're there, just wait for me, we can talk this over... Okay? Just, wait for me, I'll be there in a few... I lo-" Beep._

"You want to know why I'm back? Fine, I would gladly tell you but you see, you don't deserve the answer to that question."

They never broke eye contact, the green ones fighting against tears, the blue ones trying to erase her words, just like he erased his memories. He steps closer to her, grabbing her by her upper arms, sending chills through her spine, her rose perfume making his head feel dizzy. He could see himself leaning forward to capture her lips, to ravish them with all his longing and lust, to make her _his_ once again.

He could see himself pushing her up the wall, putting her arms over her head, her legs around his waist, their lips in never ending struggle. She would arch her back and he would kiss her neck, then her collarbone down to her breasts. His name would become a strange moan of pain and desire coming from her lips but he wouldn't listen. His lips would find their way over hers, trying to keep her quiet. He would taste blood, his lip bleeding.

Then, everything would stop. He would let her go. She would fall to the ground, hiding her face in her hands. He would open his mouth to say sorry, try to make her stop crying but then he would remember what happened, how she left him. And because of his pain and bitterness, he would just turn around and leave her. The moment he would get home, the alcohol he kept hidden away from Lindsey wouldn't be hidden anymore.

He would lose himself for a couple of hours, trying to forget every moment Peyton Sawyer was a part of.

She would feel hurt once again before realizing how none of this matters anymore, after all, she is marrying another man the day after.

And then she would cry even harder.

Because after two years, it still matters. Too much.

"Why are you back Peyton?" This time his voice wasn't a loud yell yet a tired whisper, he was losing his strenght around her, like always.

She looks into the shallow blue in his eyes, their faces so close yet so far. All she wanted to do was kiss him but wishes are far away from reality. She finds the strenght and in a voice full of hurt she speaks, "I'm getting married tomorrow."

With that, she pushes his hands and walks away from him.

In the loud silence, his heart shatters into hundreds of black butterflies, and as they get lost in the starry night outside, he breathes in deeply, slowly.

She wasn't his anymore.

___"Peyton, where are you? Would you just answer the phone? I came to the hotel, and all of your stuff were gone... Why did you leave? Just tell me where are you, are you alright? God, just answer the phone! Peyt, I love you, don't you know that? I love you more than anything... I waited for you in the chapel an-" Beep._

She didn't look at him, not strong enough to stay in one piece under his glare. His eyes burning holes in her body, missing every inch of her weakness and the hurt that was in her eyes just like it was in his heart. Maybe it was because the heart chooses not to see the things that would bring it back to life.

Silence.

She wipes her tears away, puts on her brave face and looks at him, not really looking. What went so wrong with them? How could they be so cursed with their love, shouldn't love be a blessing?

"Who is he?" Again, his voice a painful whisper.

"It doesn't matter."

"What do you mean 'it doesn't matter'? Of course it matters, Peyton. Why is that you can marry someone else but you couldn't marry me, huh? Did I... Did our love mean so little to you?" He asks, the bitter taste of his words making him feel sick.

_"...just answer the phone Peyton, just... I love you... "_

There are so many things she wanted to tell him in that moment, how the man she's marrying is much better than him, how he loves her no matter what, how he waited for her to come back to him.

But she doesn't. It would mean she still cares, and she doesn't. Right?

Her eyes look the other way, opposite from him, a way to save herself from becoming a teenager again, the same one that fell in love with the boy, the same man that was sitting next to her, the same man that she is afraid of.

She doesn't have an answer to his question. She wants him to leave, to tell her he hates her, how he doesn't care anymore... After all they have been through, he should know how much their love meant to her. How much it still means.

"Lucas, is getting late. Could you just please go now?" Her voice cold and cruel to his ears.

He stares at her like she's crazy. "Excuse me? You want me to leave?"

"Yes. It's getting la-"

"Who is he?"

"Luke, I-"

"You don't have the right to call me that way anymore." Blank. Without emotions, he speaks looking her in the eyes all the time. He knows what he's doing, he is hurting her, revenge for all the pain she has caused.

"Fine. I'm not gonna take this anymore."

_"I found your note... Didn't I mean more to you, don't you think I deserve better than a stupid goodbye note? I can't believe I ever fell in love with a person like you..."_

She stands up to get out of the room but he is still faster then her so he stands in front of her and pulls her toward him, their bodies flush to each other.

Rapid heartbeats, shallow breaths, dark eyes.

He leans forward, his breath touching her ear, "Why did you leave?"

They don't move, his mouth still close to her ear, she closes her eyes and tries to compose herself.

"Luke, you should go." She tries to fight his hold on her but his stronger, like he always was. His hands on her waist, her hands on his chest. Two seas never letting go of each other. She fights harder, tries to push him but his grip now is even tighter. Soon they hit the wall, she has nowhere to go, the only thing between two of them the air full of unspoken words. He leans forward, her eyes on his lips. Close, oh so close. His hot breath on her ear, once again she feels shivers through her spine.

"I told you not to call me that way." His voice low, husky, a whisper.

"Lucas, just… Let me go." She begs, her hands pushing him once more, but no use. His hands on her sides, holding her, never wanting to let her go. He hasn't held her for so long, he only dreams about her and now, she is here in front of him, daring him to touch her skin, to feel her in every single way possible.

"Not until you tell me why you didn't come. Why weren't you there? Why did you leave me like that?"

_"You know what? Fuck you Peyton. Fuck you, and your fucking someday. It was your someday, our someday! Why didn't you come, huh? Why? You know what, I really don't understand you... And I don't think I ever will... Why are you being like this? You can't just disappear like that... Peyton, what went wrong, why di-" Beep._

"No."

"Then…", he moves his head close to hers, their lips an inch apart, "…I'm not…", his hands pulling her nightgown up, and up and up, "…letting…", the gown on her waist, he puts his hands on her thighs and she wraps her legs around him, her body working without her mind, under his spell, "…you go."

She wants to kiss him. He wants to kiss her.

But she doesn't. But he doesn't.

They were like that for what it seemed like hours, two bodies tangled and pushed up on the wall, hot breaths, hands touching places they shouldn't be touching, their minds lost in the years of longing and desire. Two seas becoming darker and darker, losing themselves in the magic of the feeling of being so close to each other. She closes her eyes, a tear slides down her face. He kisses it. He kisses her forehead. He kisses her nose. He kisses the corner of her mouth. She doesn't open her eyes. He stares at her, waiting for her response, anything.

"You should go." She speaks, breaking the silence and his heart.

The blue in his eyes becomes black as his hands push her against the wall, his face just a breath away from hers. The green in her eyes tries to ignore the feeling of regret as he lets her go, her numb body slowly falling to the floor.

She doesn't dare to open her eyes.

And when she does, he isn't there anymore. In that moment, she realizes she lost him.

And in that moment he realizes he would hate her forever only because his love for her could never die.

"I love you, Lucas," a tear falls down her face, "too much."

_"I'm just calling to say this is the last time that I... Umm, I don't know what this is anymore, it's not like you ever answer me, I don't even know if you listen to these messages, I just wanted to say goodbye I guess... So, Peyton Sco- umm, Sawyer, this is my goodbye. I hope you are happy, wherever you are... I lo-" Beep._

I can't do it, I'm sorry

Peyton

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_I just can't, this isn't how it's supposed to be. _

_Maybe one day, it will be our someday._

_I will love you forever. _

_Peyt_

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_**A/N: Everybody is doing a happy LP Las Vegas wedding, well, I'm not. I don't want them to get married that way, it just isn't right... And I know there are TWO notes, but the first one is for the other man she was getting married to, the other one is the one she left for Lucas in Vegas. love&peace**_

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